I guess it's getting close to that time of the year; I just got all my W2 forms from my multiple jobs and everything to prepare for my return this year. I like to get my taxes back soon so I can get some hard needed cashola. I mean I gotta do something since April 15th is around the corner. Oh wait a second, something else comes first Easter, right? Oh of course, Ash Wednesday and the crazy party before it. I looove Mardi Gras. But isn't St. Patty's day also close by? I mean there are no real fun holidays in Febru... huh what? Valentine's Day? Are you serious? Me? Valentines? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Since I don't have a girlfriend, wife, or any form of female significant other, would it be a big deal? Even if I did, and there were a few Valentine Days in which I was attached, I really don't care for it. Yeah, there's the chocolate and pictures of models wearing heart shaped bras and panties. Though other than the chocolate and the possible sex, what's the big friggin' deal?
Now to some hopeless romantics out there, Valentine's is everything! The problem is Valentine's is not and should not be "the only" romance day out there. Yeah there's Sadie Hawkins' and "the sweetest" days, but that's for men who are too lazy to ask a chick out. In some cases, some psycho chick ends up asking you out. Then you're dumb enough to say "yes" to Psycho Suzy, all of a sudden she's introducing her parents to you, then she's trying to adapt your last name, she moves in your house UNANNOUNCED, then she buys you a purple tuxedo (the ONLY thing she buys you ANYTHING!) and then... you guess the rest.
But back to Valentine's Day being the only romantic day out there. You can be romantic EVERY DAY! Yes, you can give your sweetie pie chocolates on Arbor Day and have unlimited sex. Because "Only God can grow a tree!"-Joyce Kilmer. Arbor Day may not be the only day a man can sport wood, what about holidays like Memorial Day or even Groundhog Day!?! Maybe you can even change the names: "May Day" for example, can be "Lay Day"! In addition, Labor Day can have a whole meaning all to itself!
But, we can all agree, that Valentines Day can be extremely overrated and most of the Valentine days that are well planned don't end up as they're planned to be. Hell, I've seen some relationships go to ka-ka because of a bad Valentine's Day! The only reason why that day is popular is because greeting card companies needed an angle to sell their cards and VOILA! Valentine's Day was born! So blame Hallmark on why you have to go through the perils of this crappy day. Also, name one holiday that is represented by cartoon hearts, heart shaped chocolates, lovey-dovey cards, and NAKED LITTLE BOYS! WTF? Okay, they're called "cupids", but you ever noticed they look pasty, act effeminate, have curious little smiles and point arrows at people. Plus they fly in the air with little fluffy pink and white wings in all their "naked little boy-ness". Is this a holiday or one of Michael Jackson's alleged fantasies? Also, shouldn't we have a day off on Valentines Day? I mean if you give little Valentine cards to random people including the mailman and the cat, then you sing Air Supply off key, and wear a shirt of blouse that has little hearts on it, and you want a naked little boy to shoot an arrow through your heart (so you can fall in love), you DON'T NEED TO GO TO WORK! Actually you need to stay the frick indoors if you're that zoned out over the holiday.
All the cheesy-ness and creepiness aside, can we just take advice from Public Enemy and "Don't Believe The Hype (the sequel)"? Can we see the day for it's minimalism and make that day special on the terms of yourself and your significant other and not what some jive card company says? In any case, if you are blessed with the one you love, Valentines Day should be celebrated EVERYDAY! Now for miserable single people like myself, we should not feel sorry for ourselves over it. Isn't loving YOURSELF still considered love? Just because "Cindy in Accounting" has turned you down for the umpteenth time, doesn't mean you should hate yourself. Hell, give YOURSELF some chocolate, do something fun for YOURSELF, YOU CAN EVEN GIVE YOURSELF A BUBBLE BATH IF YOU WISH (just keep it between yourself and the rubber ducky). And if you see naked little boys shooting arrows at you call 911 and inform your local DSS or CPS and ATF (b/c aren't bows & arrows considered "firearms"?). And let's say, you DO go on a date with "Cindy from Accounting" on Valentines Day, treat it like a normal date. If you get lucky, that's cool -- just don't wear the boxers with the little hearts on them!
Anyway, see the holiday as it suits you, and for you "hopeless romantics" out there, just don't get too obnoxious, or at least stay the hell away from people like me! Well, I know what I'm gonna do, watch some good movies like the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre", but that's just me! So no matter what you feel about Valentine's Day; hate it, love it-- the best thing to do is just LIVE WITH IT!
Since I don't have a girlfriend, wife, or any form of female significant other, would it be a big deal? Even if I did, and there were a few Valentine Days in which I was attached, I really don't care for it. Yeah, there's the chocolate and pictures of models wearing heart shaped bras and panties. Though other than the chocolate and the possible sex, what's the big friggin' deal?
Now to some hopeless romantics out there, Valentine's is everything! The problem is Valentine's is not and should not be "the only" romance day out there. Yeah there's Sadie Hawkins' and "the sweetest" days, but that's for men who are too lazy to ask a chick out. In some cases, some psycho chick ends up asking you out. Then you're dumb enough to say "yes" to Psycho Suzy, all of a sudden she's introducing her parents to you, then she's trying to adapt your last name, she moves in your house UNANNOUNCED, then she buys you a purple tuxedo (the ONLY thing she buys you ANYTHING!) and then... you guess the rest.
But back to Valentine's Day being the only romantic day out there. You can be romantic EVERY DAY! Yes, you can give your sweetie pie chocolates on Arbor Day and have unlimited sex. Because "Only God can grow a tree!"-Joyce Kilmer. Arbor Day may not be the only day a man can sport wood, what about holidays like Memorial Day or even Groundhog Day!?! Maybe you can even change the names: "May Day" for example, can be "Lay Day"! In addition, Labor Day can have a whole meaning all to itself!
But, we can all agree, that Valentines Day can be extremely overrated and most of the Valentine days that are well planned don't end up as they're planned to be. Hell, I've seen some relationships go to ka-ka because of a bad Valentine's Day! The only reason why that day is popular is because greeting card companies needed an angle to sell their cards and VOILA! Valentine's Day was born! So blame Hallmark on why you have to go through the perils of this crappy day. Also, name one holiday that is represented by cartoon hearts, heart shaped chocolates, lovey-dovey cards, and NAKED LITTLE BOYS! WTF? Okay, they're called "cupids", but you ever noticed they look pasty, act effeminate, have curious little smiles and point arrows at people. Plus they fly in the air with little fluffy pink and white wings in all their "naked little boy-ness". Is this a holiday or one of Michael Jackson's alleged fantasies? Also, shouldn't we have a day off on Valentines Day? I mean if you give little Valentine cards to random people including the mailman and the cat, then you sing Air Supply off key, and wear a shirt of blouse that has little hearts on it, and you want a naked little boy to shoot an arrow through your heart (so you can fall in love), you DON'T NEED TO GO TO WORK! Actually you need to stay the frick indoors if you're that zoned out over the holiday.
All the cheesy-ness and creepiness aside, can we just take advice from Public Enemy and "Don't Believe The Hype (the sequel)"? Can we see the day for it's minimalism and make that day special on the terms of yourself and your significant other and not what some jive card company says? In any case, if you are blessed with the one you love, Valentines Day should be celebrated EVERYDAY! Now for miserable single people like myself, we should not feel sorry for ourselves over it. Isn't loving YOURSELF still considered love? Just because "Cindy in Accounting" has turned you down for the umpteenth time, doesn't mean you should hate yourself. Hell, give YOURSELF some chocolate, do something fun for YOURSELF, YOU CAN EVEN GIVE YOURSELF A BUBBLE BATH IF YOU WISH (just keep it between yourself and the rubber ducky). And if you see naked little boys shooting arrows at you call 911 and inform your local DSS or CPS and ATF (b/c aren't bows & arrows considered "firearms"?). And let's say, you DO go on a date with "Cindy from Accounting" on Valentines Day, treat it like a normal date. If you get lucky, that's cool -- just don't wear the boxers with the little hearts on them!
Anyway, see the holiday as it suits you, and for you "hopeless romantics" out there, just don't get too obnoxious, or at least stay the hell away from people like me! Well, I know what I'm gonna do, watch some good movies like the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre", but that's just me! So no matter what you feel about Valentine's Day; hate it, love it-- the best thing to do is just LIVE WITH IT!
I hate the hype. I'd much rather heap love and gifts on my girlfriend when she least expects, not when I'm told to.
ReplyDeleteNick
TY Nick! I guess hype ruins everything. The best thing to do is to be grateful anyday for what you have whether it is Valentines day or any other holiday obscure or otherwise!
ReplyDelete