Cawfee Tawk

Not to go into any circumstances, but I managed to get a weekend off this week. I am so stoked. I haven't had a weekend off in eons. I'm also getting paid today (Friday) so I am preparing myself for my next two days off. Saturday would be too obvious, especially Saturday night. We all do something on Saturday nights. I've seen to many Saturday nights, not that they are not too fun or anything. Of all things I can do this weekend, I'm focusing on Sunday morning. I am thinking to go into the nearest Dunkin' Donuts (in my case, in Statesville which is 35 miles east of me) this sunday morning and have some COFFEE!!! Not just any coffee, but Dunkin' Donuts' Coffee!!!

You might ask is there a Starbucks in the hick town I live in? Yes, there's three (YES, FRIGGIN THREE!!!) in Hickory: one in the town mall, one two blocks away from me, and a new one off of Interstate 40 near The Waffle House. The one regret that I had living in New York was the overpopulation of Starbucks-Buffalo, NYC, Syracuse, Long Island there was a frickin' Starbucks on every frickin' corner! Now the Starbucks plague has spread to Podunk-ville, NC. And yes, I've been to one out near me and it's no different than the one on Elmwood Ave. in Buffalo, the one in Penn Station, and the one in Massapequa, LI (NY) near the Barnes & Noble and where Tower Records used to be. So yes you got the same banal decor, same snotty staff or "baristas" in the Starbucks in the sticks as you would find in any Starbucks. You will also find the overpriced coffee with weird-ass names and sizes of cups that you need to buy "Rosetta Stone" just to understand what the Hell you're buying!

Where I grew up, if you wanted coffee you go to two places: you went to see Mom (or Grandma), OR you went to DUNKIN' FRIGGIN' DONUTS! No Berlitz courses to get the size you want nor put up with the snottiness of the staff or the pseudo-intellectual poseurs that patronize Starbucks. Now I miss Mom, not just because she lives in Florida now and I live in NC, but I miss the way she makes coffee. My mother has a way with coffee, she will buy a can of regular Maxwell House and a can of decaffienated Maxwell House, she would then mix the both together (2 scoops each) in the coffeemaker and the magic begins! And SHE STILL DOES THIS EVEN AFTER MAXWELL HOUSE "LITE" CAME OUT! Believe it or not, even though it's practically is the same thing and she can save a few dollars this way, Mom just likes it the way she's been doing it for the past 20-30 years. And for some reason, Mom's coffee just tastes better! Another biggie for Mom is the "Eight O'clock Coffee" that at one point was only available at the A&P. Now Mom was born and grew up in Brooklyn, where there were A&P's as far as the eye can see. When we moved to Long Island, there were very few A&P's out there. Mom doesn't drive, so when I got my driver's license and got my car, I used to drive 12 miles from Babylon to Commack, LI to go to the A&P and buy her the "Eight O'clock Coffee". So once in a while I made the pilgrimage. There were other brands of coffee that I missed but I missed anything Mom made when it comes to homemade joe.

Now Dunkin Donuts was the coffee you stopped on your way to work. Obviously the donuts are hard to beat, especially the Boston Cremes and the Lemon Filled Powdered jobs. Then you have the Munchkins which went great with the coffee. The thing I remember about Dunkin' Donuts were that if any crime happened you will ACTUALLY find a cop when you need one. Yet, cops aside, I grew up on the notion that if you go on a Sunday morning and you see someone buy the Sunday paper, a large coffee and a donut, you know that person was "important". I grew up thinking that if you go to Dunkin' Donuts on a Sunday morning to read your paper over a donut and a cup of coffee, you made it in life! You were one with the world if you achieved that right to go to a Dunkin' Donuts on a Sunday Morning. I used to work at a nearby Wendy's and occasionally I worked Sunday mornings.So I would slump into Wendy's down the road getting ready for a long Sunday, dreaming that I would "make it" one day schmoozing with the other "well-to-do" people at a Dunkin' Donuts!

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the taste of Starbucks and other "coffeehouse" coffees. However, I like the nice roasted taste of coffee with a splash of milk and a trace of sugar. Yet Dunkin Donuts tastes like coffee, nothing fancy, but just plain coffee. This is probably the reason why I missed Mom's coffee. But I like it simple, as well as having simple goals and ambitions in life.

Starbucks is simply "ambition overload". If you want to be a person that you will never be, then go to Starbucks! Starbucks are for overachievers. It's okay to go in once in a while but if your life revolves around buying overpriced coffee and buying "pastries" that are miniscule in size, then you got issues, buddy! Donuts, especially Dunkin Donuts are actually TASTY and go great with coffee! Starbucks might have pieces of cake and those dry cookies, but it doesn't amount to much. BTW DON'T DARE to ask for a donut at a Starbucks even if the pastry is shaped like a donut- those snotty baristas will hrrumph you to DEATH! Now I like the independent coffee house and coffee bars out there and the pastries they have. The workers at the indie coffee places are much nicer and the prices are a little more reasonable. There's very few "indie" coffeehouses out where I live in NC but if you're in Buffalo make sure you go to Spot Coffee. There are two Spot Coffees in Buffalo and if you want a "real" coffeehouse experience , go there! But I prefer just to go to Dunkin' Donuts, screw the ambience and the high prices! You can buy a coffee for half the price of a Starbucks and there is no hrrumphing! Also the people that work at Dunkin Donuts are referred to CASHIERS and counterpeople, no "baristas" here!

So that is my plan for Sunday morning. I might even go to church so Saint Christopher can guide me safely for the 35 mile drive to Dunkin' Donuts! I might even stop for bagels along the way, a good fresh bagel with lox and cream cheese is another thing I miss from New York-BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY! And let's discuss that over some "cawfee"!

Fat, Like Me

I am going to start this blog as simple as I can. I am fat. I have been for years. In some capacities, I've been overweight all my life. There were two brief periods in my life I've been at or near "normal" weight. When I was very young and later in mylate teen years and most of my 20's. I've been on diets and I was successful at it. In the mid 80's I'd lost nearly 100 pounds. I kept the weight off for a little over 10 years. As time went by, my metabolism slowed down. I used to run on average of 2-3 miles a day at about 3-4 days a week. Then I badly twisted my right ankle walking to a library. Arthritis slowly set in that ankle as it crept in my knees.Needless to say, I don't run anymore. I also don't smoke, therefore my oral fixations consist of a cookie here and there rather than tobacco. I also used to drink regularly on an average of two beers a night. On occasions I drank some of the hard stuff; mainly mixed drinks like whiskey sours and rum and Coke. It wasn't much, I rarely got drunk-- only in some parties (and I was particular who I got drunk with). I mainly drank beer because it went well with the pizza and wings when I lived in Buffalo, NY. I'd spent nine years in Buffalo, lots of wings and pizza and the beer to wash it down with. This is where I gained back most of my weight. I don't drink much now as I used to. Once in a blue moon, I'll have a beer-- light beer more often nowadays.

I might have gained back the weight, but I don't feel sorry for myself! Actually, I'd rather be fat than being addicted to heavy drugs (coke, meth), alcohol, or tobacco. And I'm not saying that to put down people with addictions; I have faults too. You can even say that I'm an addict too! Actually I'm not alone since it's been recently reported that 2/3 of this country's population is overweight or obese. This is my life as a fat person. Yet, is my life any farther from yours? Most of my friends have weight problems. I've heard some of their personal stories and there are those that hit close to home.

A few months ago I wrote a blog on how these diet/ exercise equipment companies think that us fat people are stupid enough to believe in anything. These diets work for some but we're not Valerie Bertinelli! Most of us don't have TV careers or even (ahem!) personal trainers. What these diet companies don't realize is that fat people, like everyone else can't afford things like a Bowflex or Nutrisystem. With the so called "heathy" foods being higher than your bag of potato chips, not that many people can eat "healthy". Hell, I had to buy the smaller bag of lettuce mix which is about 2 dollars for an 8 ounce bag! And YES, I actually eat vegetables. I also try to walk a mile a day for two days a week. So trust me, it's not like I'm not trying!

Yet, it's the ignorance that gets me. This past weekend, noted director and filmwriter and my long lost twin Kevin Smith, had his share of abuse. This past weekend, Smith was taken off a Southwest flight in California because of his weight. He had purchased two seats (because that is the mandatory rule they have for overweight people at Southwest) for a commuter flight. Although he was granted two seats, there was only one seat available due to a booking error. Smith got situated in his one seat and can put his seatbelt on. Yet instead of being charged for only one seat, he ended up getting kicked off the flight anyway! Even though he jokes about it, Kevin Smith feels discriminated against. Who can blame him? I surely can't-- does this mean that we need to go on a diet just to fly on an airplane?

This is not the first time I've been a witness and/or been a victim of "fat discrimination". There was a time when a friend and I went to a restaurant and the waitress took our drink orders. The waitress asked what we wanted to drink. I ordered a Diet Pepsi and my friend (who is also heavy) ordered a regular Pepsi. The waitress then gave us two Diet Pepsis even though my friend ordered a regular Pepsi. Now my friend is about 6'6" and since he's heavy and has that height, the waitress automatically assumed my friend drinks Diet sodas. Unfortunately, the waitress did not receive a tip that day.

Now please stop me if you've been in this situation. Okay, you can't stop me because this is a blog and it's kinda hard to stop me here (yet, you can definitely reply to this). Okay, this had happened to me a couple of times. Have you gone to a McDonald's, Wendy's, or a BK and ordered some food for yourself? Well there have been occasions when I'll order 1 or 2 food items and a drink and that's all I want. When I'm at Mickey D's I generally get two dollar menu items, a small drink AND THAT'S IT! And then the cashier would give me this look and say: "would you like ANYTHING ELSE?" I even get a couple of "Are you SURE?"s. Some would even go through the lengths of saying "we've got the combo meals for $4.99" or "a (dessert item) for another 99 cents!" Like fat people have a quota on desert or we need to eat additional food just because we're fat! This is why I try to cook my meals at home!

Also, fat discrimination does not end at restaurants. Just last week, I bumped into a co-worker who likes to rail on me just because of my weight. "You know, you'll FEEL a lot better if you dropped some weight!" And she continued "you have SUCH a nice face, and you have BEAUTIFUL eyes... If you lost weight you would be really GORGEOUS!". Now this "motivational speaker" should listen to her own advice. One time, I noticed her wearing a white thong under her pink pants, AND SHE'S CLOSE TO 60, MAYBE OLDER!!! She also has a turkey jowl and crow's feet that runs deeper as she smokes her Virginia Slims ("because you've come a long way,baby!"). She also drives a BRAND NEW SATURN almost every year! BTW, she's not so skinny herself either! I would love to give her advice, however I doubt she'll like it! I need to act professional even if it's around ditzy co-workers like her!

Here's another thing that gets me: why is it that there are fat people who don't date OTHER fat people? I visited a profile on MySpace of a very attractive BBW. It looked good but there was a statement that read (as I am paraphrasing): "I'm sorry..., but I don't date large men... I'm not ignorant or anything but I feel uncomfortable with (other) big people around me." Isn't that pure stupidity or does she have self esteem that low that self acceptance is close to impossible?
Now as I tell you these things I've experienced; how do YOU feel? Do you feel the same way? Now here's some shocking statements: as large as I am, I really don't eat that much. I am not stagnant, as stated before, I do walk. When the weather conditrions become favorable, I tend to walk more and further out. Sometimes I walk 2-3 miles depending how good I feel. As far as diet as concerned, I have been trying to eat less and exercise more. Hell, I wouldn't mind running again in small spurts.Yet, these things take time and money. Like everyone else, I have neither. I would like to lose weight, WE ALL WOULD but "easier said than done", right? My advice for myself and people like us is to be yourself no matter what. Also, being fat is not the end of the world! Most, if not all of us have talents that the "skinny" people wish they have!

Also, let's face it-- FAT PEOPLE ARE SEXY! Remember when Rosie O'Donnell first started before we all knew she was a lesbian- she was pretty cute! Kirstie Alley was a babe before Jenny Craig and the post Jenny Craig breakdown. Kirstie can still be sexy if she only get some counseling and get that self esteem back, never mind the weight! Then there are other "big girl" actresses like Camryn Manheim and Kathy Najimy. And let's not forget how hot Anna Nicole Smith was before her "Trimspa, baby" days and before she croaked! And that girl from "Hairspray" is saa--mokin hot, especially when she was wearing that miniskirt and those go-go boots. She can carry a loaded gun ANYTIME, as long as she lets me frisk her! Ahhh-oooga!

We all MUST realize that there is good in EVERYTHING! If we just enjoy life the way we see it, what are the limits? There are no limits and boundaries in life. Screw the people on TV, the idiots at McDonald's, or even yappy co-workers! LIFE IS WORTH LIVING FOR! Remember, moderation is only a suggestion!